My husband goes on dating websites
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He left me to deal with tieing up the ring ends in our old city, as well as trying to find a new job and figure out how to move 1200 km away. Check recent credit-card statements. I always liked him as a friend, enjoyed the physical part of our relationship, we are immensely compatible and help and fub one another. We have been going to counseling while all this has been going on. In the beginning, I knew he was on an online dating site. If I were you, I would tell him that you want a divorce and start to follow through with it. The LIVESTRONG Sol and LIVESTRONG. Well me and my babydady have been going through a rollercoaster.
I got married to the love of my life a year ago and a few weeks ago I walked in on my husband and saw something on the computer and asked him what it was, he panicked and shut the computer down. After a huge argument he said he was looking at porn and crashed his computer because he knew Iâd be upset. We had our 1st proper massive fight in the whole 5 years we have been together and he promised he would never hurt me again and that I am his rock, his best friend, his soul mate and the love of his life and he was being inconsiderate of my feelings. But Something just wasnât feeling right in my mind and I knew he was lying about what he had been doing. Anyway to cut the story short I managed to reset a password to an email account I had found but never expected to find that he was registered to 3 online dating chat sites which he had set up 1 month before we got married He had even set his profile as single and even posted a picture of himself to someone not a rude one but a photo all the same. He had lots of emails from people but hadnât ever opened any of them other than the odd one to accept a friend or request a friend. When I confronted him he told me he had been really stupid and never thought about what he was risking. He works 14 hour days He works full time and then comes home to work on his business which he hopes to make a success for us so we can have the life we have always talked and dreamed about. He says he only ever went on a couple of times when he had had an awful day and that it made him feel better to exaggerate his life -a nice car, big house etc. He says he never talked dirty and at the most a bit flirty which I find hard to believe on an online dating site and he was never turned on by anyone. Itâs now been a week and we have talked and cried so much but I feel so sick inside that I canât eat, sleep or work and am having suicidal thoughts. He is extremely sorry and I know he loves me but I feel like although he has not physically cheated on me he has mentally. He is everything to me, my best friend, my husband, my life. He has been throwing up, not eating etc. He says he will do anything to show me that Iâm everything to him. He says he hasnât been on since I nearly caught him when he crashed the computer and that he was never going to again but all I think is what about if I hadnât caught him, in 10 years time he could still be doing it. He shut down all 3 profiles and his email account in front of me. But when I read other peoples experiences of similar things online, they all say if men do that they can never be trusted and you should end things. But I can tell you he is truly sorry. There was a patch in the beginning of my relationship with my husband where his mother forced him we were 16 and 17, so yes she could force him to break up with me. At the time I was pregnant and it was an additional blow I did not need. He still came over, still said he loved me. All that good stuff. And he was so sick, throwing up, not eating, not sleeping. I could tell he was sorry and did not want to break up with me. A man just does not get physically sick like that due to emotions. If he did delete his profiles and email accounts, that is a positive step forward. Not all married men who have gone on online dating services are bad, you don't have to end things. There is marriage counselling and therapy, both which could save your marriage. You cannot judge your man by other womens' experiences. Yes, tread carefully, but don't be so quick to judge him. Even good people have lapses in good judgement. Since we got pregnant in July i have found him with a new dating site on three separate occasions, each time he's remorseful, feels sorry and says he never wants to loose me, I am all he has and he needs me. We went a good two months of no activity and suddenly it started again. Me at 25 weeks pregnant he has a new computer and starts shutting the screen when I get close. I snuck up on him one day and saw a girl on the screen so I went and set up fake users on each dating site I knew he used and baited him. I got him to agree to a hook-up with a girl. It was a Friday night, date night and we were scheduled to do a tour of the birthing center where are baby is to be worn really really soon. He cancelled said he didn't need to go and it was my thing to do. I cancelled the tour, didn't let him know, agreed it was my thing and that I'd be back in 3 hours. He called me several minutes before my tour and and the fake girls meeting to ask me where I was to make sure I was gone , asked me when I was to get home I told him a time and he told me, please text me before you head home so I can make our date night perfect. When I showed up and she didn't I could see the shock in his eyes and the confusion. I told him he messed up and kept walking. He followed, assured me that he knew all along it was me, which is crap. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and we argued, fought, I almost broke his new computer I was so pissed. I left, came back and he assured me that he deleted all of his online dating accounts. I woke up this morning and found him on three site, all with posts last night says, looking for some fun. So My advice, tell him to get out of your life and start again with someone that will respect you. I'm about to kick his sorry no good butt out today. I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it. So if you have lost that trust for him then you can't live you life fearing that he is cheating on you with someone. My husband has apologized for the same thing. He even went as far as getting another cell phone to contact women. He uses social networking sites to reach out to women. Even if I showed him proof, he would deny it. Your husband has probably found another way to deceive you, by closing the sites in front of you, is his way of assuring you won't suspect him to any of those behaviors again. So, you will think he's working, when really he's doing the same thing you caught him doing. I have grown tired of approaching my husband, and have my final decision in my head. I know what I need to do in my situation. And he started before he married you? Normally I'd be inclined to say forgive and move on but you don't have much to move on from here. It's not as though he has established years of good faith with you to take trust from. Take some time alone on this and really evaluate if you feel you can trust this man. If you can dismiss this incident completely given his character and move forward in your marriage then do so. If you have any doubts about him, get out of the marriage before you've lost more than a year. I had gotten onto his computer and noticed he was acting fishy.. I feel like we're finally back to where we started and I can actually trust him again... Ask yourself why you have allowed another person to determine your self worth. If you feel like he has been dishonest, direspectful, and violated your trust, then acknowledge it. Now make a decision to stay or leave. Whatever you decide, take responsility for your life and your happiness. Also, look for the lesson learned from this betrayal. Take it in and move forward with your life. There is no easy answer. I spent seven years of my life in a relationship with a man who lied to me. About little stupid things, about big things, it didn't matter. He said he couldn't tell me things because I freaked out if he did... But, the fact of the matter was that I only freaked out about things he hadn't told me... He had been speaking to his ex about getting back together, he was on online dating sites looking to meet new people, he kept up flirtations with girls he promised me he didn't speak to anymore... He never changed, no matter what I did, and I always felt like I wasn't good enough. If your situation is one where you can move forward, do. There is nothing worse than regret, so don't regret moving on from a great guy because of one hiccup. But, if you continue to feel like you are less of a person, like you are not good enough, or if you cannot move past it and trust him again, don't feel bad for leaving. Keep the faith, and remember that you are worth it.
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